forthcoming topics, when and if i get to them:
1. my constitution (of what I am made, constructed, composed)
2. male parasitism of females: boys come unglued when they are denied the love and tenderness of women
3. sex without love? the difference between “love” and “in love”, and what that means for sex.
4. What exactly do I want to get out of this university education? And what will I do with it upon graduation?
√5. The workshop that sliced me right down my middle and sent me home without stitches or even a bandage to stop the bleeding. Sent me home to a place where nobody understands what happened and on top of that I live alone 30 minutes from anyone even willing to listen. And I’m starving for simple physical touch lately. I struggle to breathe on my own, it seems less like a reflex and more like a conscious activity. I breathe so much better with the rhythm of someone else’s breathing.
6. Manipulation. How often do I unconsciously, or subconsciously manipulate… if there are no non-manipulative kinky femme bottoms who would nurture and protect a butch partner, rather than playing games, I want to make a move in that direction. So where’s my compass? Or who? How do we keep that delicate balance between femme-bottom seduction and outright manipulation? My vision of the line feels blurry.