I finally went through some of my clothes tonight and threw away everything that no longer appeals to me. Over the past two years I have gained back all the weight that I had lost, so I had to get rid of guilty clothes that tell me I’m not the right size. I held on to some clothes that don’t fit, because I will probably be able to fit in them again soon enough. I did get rid of pants that do not fit my body shape correctly – the ones that are for the hour glass figure – I’m more of an apple shape. skinny butt, big torso.
Had a talk with a [spiritual] cousin of mine… it’s eating disorders awareness next week on campus and she has struggled with EDNOS for a long time. She says, she wants to be skinny because she loves how people compliment her on her body. She loves how much her boyfriend delights in her thinness. She feels desirable.
I’m practically twice her size. And I get plenty of compliments on how I look, and I still feel very attractive, even desirable! Even at nearly double her weight, I’m pleased with how clothes look on me, and obviously. Obviously there have been people who like my body. So what’s the difference? Tell me.