Last night I learned that before me, Erin hasn’t been with anyone since her last girlfriend. A year ago. I was surprised at first, but then again, it is really hard to meet someone in this town. We lay in her bed for a long time, watching a movie and I had my arm around her belly. I didn’t really take note of the details this time. I mostly topped. I know, right? The bottom topped? Yeah. My period wouldn’t go away fast enough for any action.
“You know what I wanted to do last time?”
“I think I can put my hand inside you. See – right now, that’s four fingers and my thumb inside you. It’s not much further…”
She laughed. Said she’d never done that before. I still could have, it’s totally possible, but I’m not going to press the issue. She was still swearing my expertise despite my constant confessions that she’s the only one – literally, the one and only – to afford up the space of her sex to me. I had my left hand pressing down on her hair and softness, and my right hand warm and nestled inside her. I think maybe the favorite is that plus my mouth on her breast.
“ahh, I love your mouth on me”
“yeah, suck on it, hmm”
I sucked greedily and hungrily, drawing into my mouth as much of her breasts as i could fit, sliding my tongue over and around her soft nipples. Her breasts are truly soft, I have never felt such soft, pillowy breasts before.
Later, after we had slept, I had a nightmare. I was running around trying to stop this man and woman from fighting. We were in an old house with several floors and fireplaces on each floor. He was angry and overstrong, and she couldn’t get away from him. I was trying to tell her how to get away but she didn’t listen to me. She jumped down the fireplace, down the chimney to escape, but her hand got caught on something and it stopped her fall, and jerked her head snapped her spinal cord or whatever and died instantly. I know that’s totally unrealistic, but that is what happened in my dream. I think it has to do with my worry about Delilah and her gentleman friend. My dream was nothing at all like her situation, but I had been overthinking it earlier in the evening, praying for her and hoping for peace and clarity of mind. I woke up to use the bathroom and when she got back from the bathroom after me, I told her about it. I forget she’s not from the south, she’s not very comforting. And I haven’t yet decided if I like to be comforted or not. Sometimes it suffocates me, and sometimes I need it. I didn’t really need it I guess, or I would have asked. I spent most of the night as the big spoon and it was nice because I got to scratch and rub her back.
Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s Erin, but the fragrance of dried roses lingers on my fingers. I found it there on my way home, the rich, sweet smell of dried roses.