In about sixteen hours I’ll be on my way to the airport to make another pilgrimage to the Center of the Universe (a.k.a. New York City!). So freaking excited.
I’ll be staying in a hotel in the Financial District for the first two nights, and then for the rest of the time I’ll be in Jersey with Crave. Say what? Crave? Yep. I’m super excited to see her and I’ve been talking things over with Dana and we both seem to feel fairly settled about it. At least Dana says she’s glad to have me spend more time with Crave. I hesitate to believe her, but she’s convinced me so far.
Getting to see Crave brings up so many emotions for me. I’m afraid that I’ll just feel like crying when I see her. I’m afraid that the connection we forged in January will have faded by now, with time and distance between us. But at the same time Crave seems just as eager to see me as I am to see her. I’ll be meeting up with her Sunday evening after the workshop ends. I’m hoping she’ll be up for a late supper.
As far as the Power, Surrender and Intimacy workshop goes, I’m a bit apprehensive, yet totally flipped out with excitement. I want to be ready for anything, but things don’t always work out that way. I wish bravery could be automatic, but it’s not always. I’m afraid of being nude in front of even such open and generous women.
Mostly I’m afraid of fear.
But I’ll have several familar faces there. Sinclair and the coordinator, the workshop facilitator Alex Jade. Perhaps there will be others. So I’m planning on tasting divinity and witnessing miracles. I plan on being a beam of clean white light. I plan on being fierce.
In other news, I’ve settled on the fact that although I love to get people off, my resting state of energy is indeed the bottom. I crave to draw desire and dominance from lovers and others. I delight in the moment where they lunge toward me, overcome by want.