Crash Landing

I’ve been on the go since I got back from the workshop. Not a day to myself until today. But the unraveling process couldn’t wait until I had a peaceful day off. No. I’ve been unraveling since I “crash” landed home. I had to go to work that same day, and the next day, and the day after that. Then, on Saturday we got up early and went to the pride parade and did fun things all day. Sunday I went to church and then cooked for four freaking hours for Dana’s surprise birthday party (which went off with nary a hitch!). Yesterday I had to work, and then Dana kinda had it out over Crave. A lot of it had to do with misunderstandings, and some of it has to do with the fact that we are still fairly new to one another and we are still cultivating a sense of security with one another. It was hard.

This morning, though. She said, “I’m sorry you miss Crave” (as in, “I’m sorry it hurts”) and she said “I’m sorry she doesn’t feel the same way for you as you feel for her” (as in, again, “I’m sorry it hurts”) — It’s true. It’s hurting a lot.

Today I am in hot pursuit of change. I had a massage from Crave last Monday and something snapped inside me. For several years I’ve had a tentative plan to attend massage school. This time with Crave, I understood that the healing power of massage can have so much to do with emotions, spirit, and mind. Before, it had always been about the physical. To get me started in the right direction, I bought a massage textbook to work through over the next few months, and I also started looking up different massage schools. If I stay in Florida I’ll have to do 600 hours of class. If I go to New York state, I’ll have to do 1000 hours, but I’ll be able to practice anywhere. NY will also offer me the change of scenery that I need. I don’t have to stay there forever, but I could use that as a runway to someplace else.

My fluttering Gemini heart needs change to survive, and I’ve been doing the same damn thing for way too long. (Funny. A year seems like such a long time. One day I’ll really have to settle down.)


4 thoughts on “Crash Landing

  1. You’re in your 20’s and this is the best time to run around and play when and where your heart wants to play. No need to settle down in one area until you are completely ready to and I believe that you will know it when you are.

  2. I second what greg said. If you don’t do it now, when you’re young and energitic and untied down, you probably never will. So go run wild and turns your dreams into reality. You may one day regret not doing it, but I doubt you’ll ever regret all the things you’ll experience as you venture forward.

  3. Miss Avarice, I’m licensed in FL and I’m sure you can’t practice anywhere with a NY license. You’ll have to meet the licensure requirements for each state that requires licensure, usually specific training in addition to whatever you already have. States that use the national certification exam won’t make you take it over again but you still have to take the state training and pay the state fees. Just thought you would want to know in case you were packing your bags for that reason 🙂


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