least sexy post ever

Prepare yourselves for the least sexy post you will ever hear from me on this blog. If you have a weak stomach, stop reading now.

There were a lot of revisions suggested to my last post.
I will strive to live up to your standards this time.

Since Wednesday I have been experiencing indigestion and some stomach irritation. Today, I had to go home from work, lest I shit my pants at my desk chair. Needless to say, work is none too happy with me because I called out of a 5 hour shift on Thursday, and today I had to go home at my lunch break. I’ve never understood the way employers require such harsh attendance rules. I mean. I understand keeping bodies in the seats. But when I’m pooping my brains out, in severe pain from trying to keep all the gases and waste materials in my lower intestines instead on the floor by my desk. You know. Colds, coughs and sinus issues are so apparent on the outside, but diarrhea is best kept a secret. That means that for the past 5 days I have been trying to prove to my employer that the reason I can’t come to work is because I’m pooping my brains out without any hard evidence. Impossible.

After talking with Coko, who suggested that it was IBS, I’m wondering if it is actually a physical reaction to not wanting to be at this job. I feel stuck in it, because it is an inopportune time to be looking for more work. But it is so unfulfilling, it does not take into account my numerous talents, it is positively life-sucking. Not as bad as the jobs I’ve had before, but a year and a half of schmoozing payments out of people for the cell phone contract they signed themselves up for, I’m done. So my body is trying to release this “stuck in my job” feeling by creating the flow of shit.

I think Dana’s got the runs, too. We’re going to the doctor tomorrow. And she has a job interview. Hooray!


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