I’m supposed to be sleeping right now, but I can’t. It’s not that I drank my coffee too late in the day, though I did sleep in. It feels like my skin is on fire. I’m running out of time to prepare for the workshop. There’s so much on the to do list! First of all, there are several sewing projects to finish – things I want to wear. Work in the morning, and Wednesday, too. Somewhere in between, I need to get my mind to talk to my body because they’re not communicating well. My brain wants to think and plan and prepare, but my body is faintly trembling with electricity and excitement. It feels as though I’m emitting visible light. Maybe I’m just reflecting the full Hunger Moon. Yes, I am hungry – spiritually hungry in a way that I have not been for most of the past five years. I told my spiritual mother a few months ago that my cocoon was cracking, I could feel the fresh air on my wings and it felt as though there were no amount of wiggling that could get me out. She reminded me that the cocoon serves two purposes – it provides a safe place for transformation to occur, and it presses and squeezes excess moisture out of the caterpillar. Everything unnecessary is extracted, leaving only what is needed for the new life ahead. Without the cocoon, the caterpillar might grow wings but still be too heavy to fly. There has been a lot of extracting of things holding me back over the last year and a half.
I hope this weekend I’ll be able to strike a final blow that will, sooner or later, break open my shell so that I can stretch out my wings and flutter away on the breeze.
There! I’ve figured out what my intentions are. Now I can make it happen. And I can also. Finally. Get to sleep.