Learning who we are

My best friend is having a pretty monumental butch/femme awakening. She’s femme, and has had butch partners in the past, but her current romantic association seems different – at least to me. There is so much more critical thought about their butch and femme gender performances, and it pretty much makes me squee.

I want her to know who her ancestors are, who her allies are, and what it means to be this way in the world. Her first assignment is to listen to Ivan Coyote’s pieces on butch and femme. And also, uh, by default, to develop a crush on Ivan Coyote. Which is entirely unavoidable. Sincerest apologies to best friend’s romantic associate… although I dare say they might not be able to escape the crush, either.

I want you to know that I love your crooked tooth, your stretch marks, the missing part of your finger, your short leg, your third nipple, lazy eye, your cowlick, your birthmark shaped like texas. I love it all.

I first became something I had no name for in solitude, and only later discovered the word for what I was, and realized there were others like me.

Funny… that’s what happened to me when I was becoming femme.

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One thought on “Learning who we are

  1. In general I am a massive fan of Ivan Coyote. I’ve seen these videos ages ago – how fantastic they are! (and of course I had a crush!) Because of them I read one of her books. Sad thing is I learned from her writing that Ivan really dislikes vegans. Alas! I see such a crossroads with sexual freedom and expression and animal rights. Some feminists and gay rights activists so easily brush vegans off to the side – I see them all as fights against oppression. It’s a bit off topic I know but I had to share it with you.

    Besides for that I loved the book, pretty sure it was “The Slow Fix” but Im not 100% sure.

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