I am always trying

I don’t think you
understand that
I am always trying
not to look at you
trying not to
touch you
to brush my hand
against your skin
knees and elbows always
getting in the way
I cannot look at you
for fear that my desire
will show through
my eyes
can’t keep the kind
of secrets I hold
sacred
so
I am always trying
not to look at you
if I look, I will
want
and that is something
I cannot do

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